I was hanging out with a couple of my friends from B-School a year or so ago and some dude from Texas started making fun of New Jersey. I took it very personally, so I responded with what I now call "The New Jersey 30 Second Pitch". I was quite excited and animated when I gave it the first time, so "pitch" is not exactly the right description for it. I have definitely toned it down since. I will get into that after I clarify an important point that pertains to my argument that dumbasses from all over always make:
You CANNOT compare NJ to NYC, which is the quickest response everyone has of NJ, "The Step Child of NY", "Arm Pit of NY (or America, depending on the version)". As a matter of fact, you can't compare NYC to anywhere in the world and still give it justice. NJ is a STATE, NYC is a city you f'in idiots. With that being clarified, here is my NJ elevator pitch:
- Jersey is equidistant from NYC and Phily, Boston and Washington - Center of the American Northeast i.e. the free world
- True we have Newark and Camden, however, we also have Moorestown and Chatham (Voted #1 and #8 towns to live in the US, NJ was the only state to have 2 in the top 10)
- We have Atlantic City and the Jersey Shore. They aren't Las Vegas or Bora Bora, but its alot more than almost all the other states can speak of.
- Schooling is some of the best: 3 of the top 10 public schools in the US. Higher Education: Princeton, Rutgers, and a gazillion other universities and colleges.
- I am not sure if anyone has been shopping at any kind of mall outside NJ, if not, I don't mean to spoil it for you, THEY SUCK. After you get used to not paying sales tax and walking around malls like GSP and Short Hills, there really is no comparison.
- As a state, probably the most diverse with respect to the number of ethnicities, races, religions, etc... per capita.
- Within an hour driving distance from Central Jersey, we have 13 professional sports teams to watch.
I am sure I am still missing a few, however, for you clowns out there talking shit about Jersey, what the F*** can you tell me about your state, you hick ass pricks!
I'll take higher car insurance prices anyday! My buddy luke has a T-Shirt that fits this occasion perfectly. It goes something like this:
"Welcome to New Jersey, Don't Worry, We Hate You Too!"
41 comments:
How could you forget to mention all the diners?
Two words: The Sopranos
A-dash-men.
Whenever people diss NJ, I'm always like "Compared to what?"
NYC, like you said, is an apples-to-oranges comparison.
New York state -- well, who's really gonna brag about Albany or Buffalo?
I don't know if it's the greatest state, but it is a damn good one.
I've got echo Z on this one. It's an a-mazing experience to live in such close proximity to so many different cultures, religions, languages, etc. Why? 'Cause it means access to more exotic cusine, that's why! And northern NJ is home to more awesome Italian restaurants than anywhere else except Italy and NYC's Little Italy.
And let's NOT FORGET, the diners!
The west coast may have better Asian and Mexican food, and 4 other states have more immigrants, but no other state has more different kinds of people living within its borders. NJ's #1 and that's not bad, considering we're only #11 in overall population. Bi-atches!
Under school's, you forgot to mention that the Eastern Christian School's i North Jersey were rated as #14 in academic standards among all of the Christian school's in the country!(that's out of hundreds if not thousands!)
For school's, you didn't mention that the Eastern Christian School System in North Jersey was rated #14 in academics among all of the Christian school's in the country!(which is out of hundreds, if not thousands of school's)
I've seen that t-shirt -- where did he get it? I want one too . . .
...please where can I buy a unicorn?
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